what is the meaning of this?

this is an ad i saw on my facebook home page, evidently geared towards mothers trying to go back to school. a strange picture choice, though.

strength

there is no definition for "undeserving" on dictionary.com, yet i know that word is real.

b vitamins make my piss really neon

a potato wrapped in a pink blanket, just born.

it reminds me of that mogwai video "stanley kubrick" but really only in that there's a potato family in it.

i'm really referring to a rock my boss has on her windowsill, with pink construction paper taped around it. her daughter did that for her when she came to work with her. that was the same day she destroyed all the dry erase markers and cut little hearts out of this citation that was waiting for service.

my boss just brought me french fries from whataburger. this is highly unusual.

i really only have one reader, not counting all those random comments i get in chinese characters, and that alone will keep this blog alive. thank you, reader. i really don't write these with you in mind, yet you are in my intended audience at the same time.

mom, thank you.

make sandwiches for the rest of the week

my mouse scrolly-rolling ball thing isn't working, and i'm having to use the scroll bar on the side of the screen instead. how annoying.

right now, i have to take a shit. tomorrow, i'm going to see tom green's stand up in some bullshit comedy club. i can't believe i'm going, but i actually really like tom green. i haven't been to a comedy club in a while.

saturday is LADIES NIGHT.



every night should be ladies night, if ladies night means dancing and drinking and crying and snorting and crying and oh i'm kidding.

i have to take my stupid phone to the apple store so they can fix the camera on it. the shutter won't open anymore for some irritating reason. i looked on apple forums and everybody that has had the same problem as me got their phone wet. my phone never got wet. i wonder what they will think of me, these apple workers, technicians or whatever they are, when they go through my phone and see that i have 67 photos of my cat.

january playlist

mayer hawthorne - a strange arrangement
beach boys - dierdre
crystal castles - vanished
grizzly bear - two weeks
smashing pumpkins - the end is the beginning is the end
friendly fires - lovesick
gilbert o'sullivan - alone again (naturally)
prince - controversy
girls - hellhole ratrace
beach house - walk in the park
the flamingos - i only have eyes for you
elo - wishing
lee fields & the expressions - the only one loving you
phoenix - honeymoon
yo la tengo - madeline

carrots are good

i never thought carrots were good until about three minutes ago. i mean, i'd eat them without much complaint, but i never truly appreciated their flavor and form until now. i hear they're good for your eyes, too. as my mom pointed out, you never see a rabbit with glasses, do you?

perspective from a maladjusted teenager

this is the sort of crowd i bring.