dear grandma:
i've come to realize that everybody i've ever known has had a love/hate relationship with me. it's a very passive aggressive thing, really. i don't know what it is about me that is so polarizing but to say the least i'm amused. i think the only people that like and love me unconditionally are mom and my cats. okay, so that's only one person.
anyway, i need a haircut. you would agree. you always liked it short, black and shiny, like a cap of hair, you'd say. i think i'll let it grow out this time, though. we'll see.
i wonder what you're doing all the time and if you are watching me shower. i wonder a lot of things but i don't intend to get theological or anything. mostly, mom and i wonder if you're mad at us.
oh, and i hope you don't mind but last time i went to laredo, i stayed in your old room and took some dr. bonner's organic rose soap to bring home with me. look, you left like three bottles and they were just sitting there and they're like 12 bucks a bottle around here, so.
it's weird; the week before you died, i listened to that cassette tape of you teaching me how to read. it's labeled december of 1987. hearing it then gave me a strange lump in my throat, sort of how i feel right now. i really wish i could hear your voice just once more. truthfully, if you were haunting me or something, i'd be scared shitless so please come to me in a dream or something.
before i end this letter, i wanted to tell you about last weekend. i went to see a palm reader with my friend. i know you're already balking, but she told me some really uncanny things! i wish you could tell me if she said anything valid or if i got robbed. she said i would live to be 94. jeez.
well, see ya someday, i hope. not too soon, though.
love,
v
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