diarrhea of the blog

dreams unrealized

"in dreams, emotions are overwhelming." that movie science of sleep never really resonated with me. the only memorable thing about it was gael garcia's ass, actually. but that particular line i just quoted came to me this morning out of nowhere. i think a friend of mine used to have it as her "headline" on myspace and it just clicked where it came from. as i was saying, it came to me this morning, but i suppose it was not out of nowhere. i woke up from an intense dream that i thought was real, that i wished was real, so much so that in said dream, i kept slapping my face to see if it was real and i never woke up (in my dream) but then i woke up in my bed and i was sick and my roommate was watching the first 48 in the next room. what i thought was mine again was really just my memory torturing me and i am seemingly incapable of controlling what i dream about. i hear the last thing one thinks about before sleep predicts what the dream will be but i know the last thing i thought about was the obama health care plan. or, maybe not.

for good measure

this girl is such a pretentious asshole but i used to like her. oh well, tra la.

oh! oh!

and while i'm on the topic, THE LATE 90's were probably even better. gap cardigan sweater sets, body glitter, jewels in my hair à la courtney love, bonne belle lipgloss (strawberry), lilith fair, candies shoes, feathered pens, listening to jewel and watching felicity. oh, felicity. jesus i wish that show never ended. i'm the biggest closet felicity fan.

earlier i was talking to a friend about how leonardo dicaprio used to be fine as hell in 1996 around the time he was in that baz luhrmann version of romeo and juliet. then we talked about wearing denim skorts and having braces. i don't know i got thinking about all that; it was sort of organic, really. i get the strangest feeling thinking about being 12 again. i thought i hated it at the time but now i would give anything to spend a summer at home watching mtv spring break all day, eating brownies and listening to cds on my 5-disc player boombox. oh, and chatting on mIRC.

anyway, this video sort of embodies my 90s childhood.

then i saw her face

i'd like to say that shrek totally ruined that "i'm a believer" song by the monkees for me, but i think i really dislike it either way.

high school parties or how my family decided my fate in teen popularity

i just had a memory of being a teenager and going to parties where i'd be smoking pot and hanging with friends and my stepdad would come pick me up when i wouldn't answer my phone and send my brother louie in to get me. i'd be stoned and all of a sudden see louie and he'd say, dad said let's go. i'd tell him okay, i'll be there in a minute go back outside, but he'd stand there and say DAD SAID NOW and all the cooler older kids would snicker and i'd feel stupid as i walked out to my dad's minivan with everybody watching.