can this be real?

Rhino-skinned, cage-fighting, coffee fetching, breakneck typist (The Woodlands)
Reply to: job-zr6cc-1259153325@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-08, 7:59AM CDT


Engineering services company looking for an office assistant, where your duties will include… well, ummm, if you can think it, you’ll probably be asked to do it.

Ideal Candidate:
Inherently Nurturing
Fashionable
PC savvy- Microsoft Office, Outlook, Adobe Acrobat is a plus!
Trustworthy with confidential information
Honest, hardworking, level-headed and canny ... these are the hardest ones to find.
Does not take life sooooo seriously
Has very few “blonde moments”
Socially Adaptable (can tell lewd jokes one minute and be professional when needed)
Deal with Engineers and Techs without biting! If you do, don’t bite hard.
Understand and obey the phrase “Do not surf the internet while at work”

Think…
Girl Friday- A 'go to' girl; a female who will help you get things taken care of; a female you can rely on when you are in need of extra assistance;
a female who acts as a 'jack of all trades' and is capable of doing almost anything; a girl you can count on when you are overwhelmed with your
own chores and the duties must be done; a girl who does most of the leg work on a project, but never takes (or gets) credit.
“When you need extra help....I'm your Girl Friday.”

We encourage Guy Fridays too!

The owner has been variously described as “fastidious and fussy” to “jerk-face”.
Heed this warning: If you wear your feelings on your sleeve, this is NOT the job for you. Please, don’t waste your time or ours. Drama Queens need NOT apply!

btw…
We have Geek-Fest Fridays; n00bs get pwnd by the uber-nerds! No digitards allowed! w00t!



PLEASE READ THIS: Submit resumes in either a plain text or MS Word 2003 or prior format (we will not view Office 2007 submissions)